Shikira ReNae Savage

Today I am going to bring awareness I don't think a lot of people know about. Now this isn't to make anyone feel bad for me I am okay trust me but this is incase I can help anyone else going through the same thing. I had a really great childhood with the best parents and brother a girl could ask for and for the most part I was a really happy childhood. At a young age though my mom started noticing I got scared to easily but not in horror movies or anything like that and it wasn't fear it was worry about everything. I worried about things kids my age shouldn't be even thinking about. As I got older it got worse followed by other things. I started loathing myself and became very dark, I wouldn't smile much I wouldn't laugh often and hardly ate. All I knew was that the pain was the worst thing I had ever felt. I fought telling anyone about it and kept it bottled up so tight I couldn't breath until it exploded. Junior high was the worst and during ninth grade...

So things have been happening in my family I would rather not discuses until I know all the facts so please bare with me as I haven't made the youtube videos I wanted to make and my lack of blogs I'm trying by best. Anyway so today I decided since I don't have much to talk about I'm going to talk about some of the things I am addicted too when times like these arise and I struggle with being happy and I want to break away from this world. First I will tell you about what I can talk about and then I will jump into my recreational activities. So I have been having a lot of trouble sleeping and I think it is because of being out of anxiety medicine for so long luckily I get that back today. We are a tad late but we are taking our  Christmas stuff down tomorrow we have all been not feeling good so it has been hard to do anything. Also my computer is on it's last leg so if I have times I can't get on that's probably why. I got to see my uncle today and he gave ...

Yesterday was probably the best day I had in a long time probably since September at least. I got to go hang out with one of my besties Amberle. I am not going to lie and say it was easy would be a lie I have become very closed off and have really bad social anxiety I haven't even left the house since the day after Christmas. So I had a panic attack/crying fit in the shower but then it was over and I was okay. It was so nice to talk to someone  and we went out and got soda then just hung out at her house. We are having a sleepover tomorrow so hopefully that will help me become social again. I guess ever since my dad got sick I started hiding behind my computer, notebooks and books but new year is time to change. I got home around four thirty or five and was so tired from staying up all night that I totally passed out by six hahaha. Today hasn't been great I feel like I'm having a heart attack and that no one will listen to me they are always blaming it on my anxiety ...

Man it seems every time I get sick I can't even function so there is nothing to write about it my blog. Still haven't been able to make it to the doctor to figure out why I seem to be sick for weeks on end and only get a few days break in between. I was suppose to go to the doctor on Friday but I couldn't even function I was feeling so sleep deprived even if I ha slept for hours on end. Anyway Happy 2017 everyone!!! To say I'm not happy 2016 is over would be a lie...it was a very hard year for me I lost most my friends I gained weight my dad got so sick then I started reacting very badly to pills I had been doing so well on. I went through a truck load of depression that I am still fighting right now. I'm going to put my nose to the grindstone this year to get my book ready and start my new life...granted it's the fourth and all I've done is sleep and watch a ton of Smallville but Tom Welling is a babe I can't help it haha. There has been another thing...